Our suffering needs our care and attention, our presence and willingness to just sit with it just as much. For instance, in the short term, self-harm may feel soothing. Painful emotions can be challenging to sit with. Watch Queue Queue. advice, diagnosis or treatment. Validating your emotions means accepting them. Write about the shaking, electrifying anxiety. We wallow when we fixate on the feeling, judge ourselves or judge the person or situation that triggered our feelings, Van Dijk said. Instead of judging yourself or fighting your feelings, sitting with your emotions would look like this, she said: “It makes sense that I’m feeling hurt because I was looking forward to spending time with my friend”; or “I feel hurt that she chose the concert over me, and it’s OK that I feel this way.”. All you have to do is feel it. Sit down and make yourself available to the emotion that has been nagging you. However, this also makes her feel guilty and angry with herself for getting angry at Joe, and she feels anxious about not being a good therapist. Here’s an example: A month ago, you and your friend made plans to hang out. Lapping against you. Sitting with our emotions simply means allowing them, resisting the urge to get rid of the pain and not judging ourselves for having these emotions. Your feelings are hurt because you made these plans a while ago, you were looking forward to finally catching up, and you feel like you were ditched for a better offer. What do I mean by that? Speaking to my friend this week helped to remind myself that it’s OK to experience darker moments and that when I do, there is definitely something that I can be done about it. Sit with this anger, anxiety, depression, grief, guilt, sadness, shame, or whatever emotion you are experiencing. Gerst suggested practicing “something that is meditative but allows you to access your deepest feelings using your body as your portal.” For instance, you might try yoga or Tai Chi. It sits heavy on me. This emotional acceptance exercise is one way to help you learn to be more aware and accepting of your emotions. We all deal with our emotions in different ways, often not dealing with them. Unfortunately, this can lead to some very dangerous behaviors, such as deliberate self-harm. Van Dijk shared this example of wallowing: “Wow, I got so angry with Joe today; it was awful. Here is a six step process for mindfully dealing with difficult emotions… 1. I hate feeling this way, and I hate that it’s stuck with me and ruined my day. Instead, we ignore our emotions, or dismiss them. Getting Unstuck: The Power of Naming Emotions. Copyright © 1995-2020 Psych Central. Instead of trying to escape your emotion, just sit with it. When uncomfortable feelings surface, most people's first instinct is to try to get away from them. It can help with learning to tolerate uncomfortable feelings and start to understand where it originates from and how it feels in your body and mind. Remember that no emotion lasts “forever.” When you sit with the emotion and allow it to be, it will change and evolve. Imagine the waters around you. But you stay put. Because they are the waters in the ocean. They “experience things more intensely, and therefore have had more difficulties learning to manage emotions because they become so overwhelmed by them.”. Excellent article, Emma-Louise!! Many of us have no clue how to sit with sadness, because we rarely do it. The more you can manage your emotional … These positive emotions feel good. Emotions (feelings) are a normal and important part of our lives. When I am feeling sadness, I actually feel it in my chest. The key to navigating these heavy emotional moments is to stop fighting and start accepting. Write about where you feel these feelings. Which also means you give yourself the gift to grow and genuinely feel better. Some of us learn early on  from our caregivers — that throwing tantrums or turning to substances or self-harm is the way to deal with painful emotions, she said. Sitting with and exploring them, however, allows us to learn valuable lessons. They arise, grow stronger, and then subside. They get stuck within, however, because we push them away and refuse to feel them. It comes with uncertainty and oftentimes, dread. You can debate whether emotions are merely chemicals the body is reacting to or something at the soul level. For instance, according to Van Dijk, in the above example, this might mean saying: “I’m feeling hurt that my friend chose to go to the concert instead of spending time with me. 13:02. Now I’m noticing that I’m starting to judge myself because I don’t want to cry. But remember that there are ways you can start. Think of happiness, joy, interest, curiosity, excitement, gratitude, love, and contentment. Some of the biggest challenges facing sit and go players while bankroll building and getting to learn the game has nothing to do about the game at all. Because you are the buoy. A lot of people avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions through a variety of coping mechanisms. How can you deal with your anxious feelings with greater mindful awareness?
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